You so deserved it

So, you have come to suspect that your long-term partner is cheating. There are a few telltale signs that can confirm your suspicions enough for you to gather some evidence and confront your partner.

At some point during your partner’s infidelity they are going to slip up. The more confident they become that they won’t get caught; the more likely these slipups are going to happen. The thing is, with all the lies your partner has to tell to keep the affair a secret, at some point they are going to forget what they have said. It is going to be confusing to remember what they said they were going to do and what they did do! If you think your partner is having an affair, try keeping a little diary of the excuses they have used for being late or going out on their own. This way you can catch them out as you will know what they have said and can compare it with what they are trying to cover it up with.

If your partner comes home with lipstick on his collar or smelling of a scent that you don’t wear, don’t accuse them straight away. Sometimes it is better to read their reactions, these can be a great help in deciding if your partner is cheating. Just mention casually “Oh love, there seems to be a little lipstick there” See if their facial expression turns to shock. Even if they later try to say they were accosted by a drunken female or it was a co-worker having a laugh, it doesn’t matter as you were able to see their first reaction.

If your partner starts wearing an item of jewelry that you don’t recognize, this could have been given to them by their new lover. Make a note of it, and if you get the chance have a closer look, it may be engraved. A great way to gauge your partner’s reaction is to play with it when you get the chance. If they are wearing it, mention how nice you think it is, see if their expressions and body language become uneasy. It is also good to see that once you have expressed an interest in the item of jewelry, will your partner ever wear it again around you. They may have hidden it for fear of you knowing what they are up to!

These are just a few of the little tricks you can use to catch your cheating mate out. There are many more, and if you feel that you are being cheated on, it’s only fair that you find out the truth.

Technorati Tags: cheating, infidelity, new lover

Even if your partner thinks they have the gift of the gab or they have you hanging on their every word, eventually their cheating ways will be discovered and they will trip up. This article is to arm you with ways in which you can tell for sure your partner is cheating and catch them unawares.

A cheater often shows key behavioral changes, when they are involved with a secret lover. They can often be too cheerful and attentive towards you, their long-term partner. As their secret love develops into a more long-term fling their behavior can become moody and distant. It is like the feelings of that first love. When you meet somebody new for the first time the relationship is exciting and new, you feel a buzz in the air and you’re walking on cloud nine. But overtime this freshness can fade and especially if your partner’s secret lover is becoming more demanding of their time, it can become a tough balancing act. Having to remember all those lies. Your partner may even become depressed and withdrawn.

Now I’m not saying feel sorry for the cheating partner, oh no, not by a long shot. But it is interesting how the affects of leading a double life can affect a person so much. If your partner is feeling guilty about an affair they can often show this in the same way. They may seem to be always in deep thought and distracted. Often they become short-tempered and curt for no reason. If you and your partner have children together, they may begin to distance themselves away from the children; this is very much a guilty reaction to cheating.

Other ways in which cheating partners start behaving differently is when they become suddenly private about almost everything. They will start to carry their mobile around with them everywhere, not letting it out of their sight, always checking it to see if they’ve missed a call or text message. They may also start closing doors behind them. When you’ve been in a relationship for a long period of time habits do not change. For instance, not shutting the bathroom door, even if your partner is nearby, it’s just the way in which we show each other that we feel comfortable. But when a partner is cheating they want to create a distance between themselves and you, so they start to close the doors.

Lastly if your partner suddenly starts taking a keen interest in their appearance that wasn’t there before, it could be a sign they are trying to impress somebody else. If they change the style of their hair or try a different style of clothing, it could be something their new lover has suggested they try.

Technorati Tags: cheating

Where did that come from ? ? ? ?

When a partner or spouse is having an affair there are many dirty tricks that they will use to get you off their backs.  Many have been tested time after time where as some others are imaginative if nothing else!  The one they ALL have in common is that they are all engineered to get you out-of-the-way and to allow them time to spend with their new lover.

The trouble with affairs is that they require time. If, your partner spends most of their time at work, the only spare time they have to give to an affair is going to come out of the time they are spending with you.  The time away may vary; remember a “quickie” can last less than five minutes, but as the relationship between your partner and their secret lover develops they will probably want to spend more time together.

You may notice an increase in reasons your partner is spending time away.  Business trips are a common excuse, and a perfect opportunity for the lovers to spend time together in a hotel.  If your partner does need to spend time away on business, ask for a contact number or the hotel name where he or she will be staying.  If there is nothing going on then this information should not be a problem to obtain.

Late night working hours can also be common excuse for those having an affair.  It is easy to say there is a certain project nearing completion that needs extra time spent on it, especially if you do not work in the same building.  You have no way of knowing whether their workload has indeed increased.  To find out if the extra working hours are necessary, you could try calling the office at the hours your partner is supposed to be there.  Another way to catch your partner out is to ask what time they might be home.  Arrive at the office half an hour earlier than they said and see if they are there.  If they are there, check to see who else is there?

Has your partner suddenly become a fitness fanatic?  Are they spending unusually long hours at the gym?  The gym is a good cover for those who are having affairs as the change of clothes and the damp hair from a shower are usually actions for those that visit the gym.  If you think that your partner may not be going to the gym you could suggest that you too would like to try to be a little healthier. Suggest that they take you to the gym to show you the ropes.  If you are taken along, you can see who interacts with your partner there and how much they know about the gym!

These are just a few signs that could suggest your partner is playing away.  There are many more, just be careful that you don’t throw false accusations around as it is difficult for a relationship to recover once the trust is gone.

Technorati Tags: affair

When two people are having an affair together, they will go out of their way to make sure they have left no tracks behind. The trouble is some things become overlooked because they are small or seem insignificant. These are the clues that could lead you to trapping your adulterous partner in their web of deceit.

The two main areas to find clues of a cheating spouse are in your house, especially the bedroom and their car. Next time you leave your house; make sure you take at look at how things have been left, make a mental note of where things are. The same can be said for your partner’s car, how have you left the seat, is it leaning back slightly, have a quick glance into the glove box and see what’s left in there. Are their any unusually colored hairs on the headrest of the car?

Before you get into bed at night have a quick glance around the room for any stray hairs, a good place to look is in the shower or around the vanity basin. Another good thing to make a mental note of is how you leave the towels in the bathroom. If your partner is bringing their lover home they will need to clean themselves up afterwards.

Every time you take a shower make sure you leave your body wash and razor in the same place. If they get moved it won’t have been because your partner moved them as they would be the wrong smell for their gender.

Next time you are in your partner’s car, check out the CD collection. Are there any changes in their taste in music, it could be their trying to impress a new lover. Also has your partner usually been messy and untidy in their car and are they starting to keep it clean and tidy? This could also be a sign of trying to impress someone.

These are just a few signs of an unfaithful spouse there are many more. Take your time and collect your evidence first before you start the accusations. You, do not want to spoil a good relationship if there is no cheating involved.

Technorati Tags: affair, cheating

My Heart is Breaking ! ! !

Finding out that your partner is cheating is heartbreaking. Sometimes your partner can be cheating on you for a substantial amount of time and you are blissfully unaware of it. If you suspect that you partner may be cheating, here are a few guidelines to help you assess the situation and see if they are.

Emotional signs of cheating can be difficult to spot because they can be subtle but they also need confirmation, as not all changes in emotional behavior are down to cheating! When a partner is cheating they can experience a wide range of emotions. They will feel excited and happy, obviously because of their new thrill. On the flip side they can become guilt ridden and depressed because they know what they are doing is wrong. It is a double-edged sword, and many think that they can live a double life but few can, and get away with it.

A cheating partner can overcompensate for their guilt, by giving you more attention. Buying gifts and having an increased desire to make love, this can be their way of making themselves feel less guilty.

Increased sexual desire could be from their excitement of a new relationship. Usually if someone is being aroused more they are going to want more sex. If your partner suggests a new move in bed, they could have been shown this by their lover and enjoyed it, or even trying to practice it so they can impress their new lover.

Mood swings are another emotional behavior that cheating partners display. They can lose their temper over the smallest and unnecessary things. They become offended at your comments no matter how harmless they are.

Another emotional telltale sign is closing doors. Strange as it must seem, but when you are in a long-term relationship you tend to leave doors open, especially the bathroom door, even if your partner is nearby. When a partner is cheating they start to close the doors, trying to distance themselves emotionally and physically from you.

If you notice any of these signs, do not go and make rash accusations, you must find proof first. The last thing you want to do is ruin a perfectly good relationship over false accusations of cheating.

Technorati Tags: heartbreaking

I'll take this outside

With today’s communication savvy society it has become easy for partners to cheat and not be found out. The cell phone or mobile phones have played a key part in the adulterous lives of many.

Signs that a partner is having an affair can be linked to unusual activity with their cell phone. Do they suddenly receive text messages at all times of the day. Do they leave the room and take their phone with them. Do they “just step outside” to make a call? Are they always checking their phone for missed calls and text messages? This behavior can often be a sign that your partner is up to no good.

If you’re worried that your partner may be having an affair, it may be good for you to check their cell phone activity to be able to confirm your suspicions. Ways in which you can check their activity is by checking the phone itself, if you are able to sneak it away for five minutes. The trouble with this is of course, a cheating spouse often keeps a close hold of the item that enables them to cheat.

Another way to check the activity of calls or text messages sent is by checking their monthly bills, this only works if your partner is on a contract. You may be able to call the phone company and request backdated statements for up to one year. They may charge you a small amount for this, and like banks and credit card companies you will be asked security information so be prepared and make sure you know the answers!

If your spouse is using a pre-pay phone you will have trouble finding out which numbers have been called, especially if the information has been deleted. There is software available that is cheap and easy to use; it has been designed for those not technically minded. It will allow you to access all the information on your partner’s sim card.

You see, even if your partner has deleted call information and text messages, everything is still stored on the sim card. This software will allow you to look through this information using a normal pc. Unfortunately this will only work if the sim card is not locked or PIN protected (unless of course you know the PIN). You can buy the file recovery program for sim cards online.

Technorati Tags: cell phone, just step outside