Marriage is based on trust, companionship and love. Marriage counselors say that you have to be completely honest and upfront with each other. Being close emotionally, sexually and mentally is necessary for a stable marriage. But it does not really work that way, does it? You might have been the very best wife; emotionally, sexually, mentally and spiritually but that is no guarantee for a stable marriage. Men cheat and there is a very good chance that your man is already cheating on you. One very important question you will have to ask yourself all through your marriage is this; Is my husband cheating on me? The most likely answer is that even if he has not yet cheated, he has contemplated it at least once during your marriage. He might not have acted on that thought or impulse but you have no guarantees that he will not in the future.
Why do men cheat?
Men are hunters and sex is hardwired into their minds. They crave sexual variety. On an average, a man thinks of sex once every eight seconds and more than 40% of all men seek sexual satisfaction or sexual variety out of marriage; and that number has not changed since the 1950s! A famous Kinsey study also stated (way back in the 1950s) that more than 50s of all men would inevitably cheat on their spouses. Those statistics should let you know that it does not matter what a wife is like; men are going to cheat either physically or emotionally.
So what do you do?
It’s necessary that you protect yourself. We are not saying that you suspect your man of cheating on you all the time but it pays to be cautious. Always, always listen to your intuition. If you feel that something is wrong, it is usually wrong. Watch out for these following warning signs of a cheater that will tell you whether your husband is cheating on you.
• Emotional Withdrawal – One of the very first signs of a cheater that will see is emotional cheating. Your husband will draw away from you, he will stop talking to you or discussing his days work. Even if he does talk to you, it will only be about work, house or child related activities. Some men may even stop touching or displaying any signs of affection. This is one of the premier signs of emotional withdrawal in a marriage and you should pick up on it quickly. This is when you should start investigating his accounts, mobile phone bills and credit card bills.
• Using extra cash – By now, you have realized that your husband is drawing away from your emotionally. It’s time to back up this feeling of abandonment with proof. You already have an idea of how much money your husband uses every day. Visit your bank and get a printed account statement of how much money is being spent daily. Ensure that the statement goes back at least a year so that you can be unbiased about the expenses. Expenses may increase or decrease if your husband is traveling but any unusual expenses should be verified. You can ask the bank for help and they will track down where and when money was withdrawn and used.
• Credit cards – Take the time to check his credit card statements as well. The best way to do this is by writing in to the banks and asking for credit card statements. Your husband may have many secret credit cards that you are now aware of but writing to the bank will let you know about them. Before you are given the credit card details, you will have to verify the security questions that the bank will ask. Make sure that you have the details ready.
• Discarding paperwork – If you can see your husband actively hiding his paperwork like receipts, credit card bills,bank statements or even withdrawing cash, you should ask yourself whether your husband is cheating on you. They are hiding their paperwork to ensure that you don’t get proof about the affair and the money he is spending on his lover.
• New email accounts, messenger and chat accounts – you have to wonder ‘Is My Husband Cheating’ if he seems to be spending too much time on the internet. He could be having a long distance internet affair or chatting with his lover on the internet. If possible, use keylogging programs to record his password, and then investigate these accounts to find out what is going on.
For men, marriages are a form of contract by which they get a woman who provides children, sex, and partnership but they don’t really like it. Marriages mean monogamous sex and it can lead to complacency and boredom and even prominent well-off men can throw caution to the winds in an effort to throw off the bonds of marriage; and be free for a few carefree minutes. Famous men like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tiger Woods cheated even when their wives were beautiful, sexy, well-educated, accomplished women with successful careers and with beautiful children.
Do not take it personal and do not take the grief on yourself. You are a beautiful wonderful woman and you deserve a good man. Confront your husband about the cheating with proof and make sure that you get the respect and love that you deserve. Is My Husband Cheating On Me, is a question best answered honestly and truthfully and when you have done that move on with YOUR life.